Authenticity vs. Conforming

What does it cost when you settle and conform, when you seek to blend in, be accepted, avoid rocking the boat? Do you feel less than, uneasy, uptight, even hesitant? Is there a sense of uncertainty, frustration, vulnerability?


Could it be that not bringing attention to ourselves by avoiding opposition, confrontation or conflict and it's inherent judgment, beguiles us into a weird sense of security in the presence of others? Yet what is really going on within is lack of confidence, insecurity and low self-esteem. The further away we are from our authentic selves we are unable to see that suppressing ourselves limits our opportunity to learn and grow through meaningful interaction and debate with others. We also deny the world the experience of the fullness of ourselves. We'd rather hide, shrink into the background, secretly hoping others won't seek us out and ask us questions, while simultaneously aching for community and, deep down, yearning to live our full potential.


The crazy part is, can we even know if our attempts to conform are successful? Who is going to inform us on the answer to this question? It would seem that if it is to be answered through our own inner dialogue then it is likely that our insecure self would advise that we fall far short of what we think the standard and expectation of others is. What happens if we wake up from the fallacy and illusion that our thoughts have created around our belief that to be accepted one must conform?


Waking up presents us with a choice; remain bound by self-limiting beliefs or choose freedom. So often we overlook our ability to choose, and may even find it hard to acknowledge that we have chosen our current state. The great news is that we can choose a new, much better state.


In choosing freedom we allow low self-esteem, judgment and insecurity to drop away and can look at our lives with a clear lens to be able to see how truly competent, talented, capable, accomplished we are. In freedom we embrace the fullness of who we are, acknowledging that our imperfections and mistakes along with our gifts and abilities work together to realize our unique and special contribution to the world. In choosing freedom we walk in authenticity where we can see ourselves and others as worthy of respect and love, where we truly appreciate and value life and where we boldly step into our potential.


Marianne Williamson's Our Deepest Fear states "You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."


No more sleeping! Serve the world with your God given authentic contribution. Choose freedom and let your light shine!

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© 2018 Melanie Escalante - Vision and Strategy Coach

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